EXCUSE MACHINE

[ CERTIFIED PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY GENERATOR ]

▸ MY DOG ATE THE REPORT    ▸ TRAFFIC WAS UNPRECEDENTED    ▸ I THOUGHT IT WAS CASUAL FRIDAY    ▸ MY PHONE DIED (AND ALSO MY WIFI)    ▸ I HAD A FAMILY EMERGENCY (VAGUE)    ▸ THE ALGORITHM BURIED MY EMAIL    ▸ I WAS IN A MEETING ABOUT MEETINGS    ▸ MERCURY WAS IN RETROGRADE    ▸ I LITERALLY JUST SAW THIS    ▸ MY DOCTOR SAID NO STRESS   
EXCUSE TRANSMISSION // CERTIFIED AUTHENTIC
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